#RadioHeatWave & Thoughts (With no links with each other)

Radio and writing.

These are the things I really love to do.

My recent rejection of Radio Heatwave (BTW Congrats to the 19 new faces of radio heatwave! You guys have earned it! (Especially Elmer!)) has reminded me of things that I hate to remember.

With my relationship going down the drain, my moral has been drained to a level that I have not experienced.

When my ‘O’ levels results came out, I experienced a rush. A rush of joy, a rush of hope. Something that I have not experienced for a long time. In fact, for 8 years. 2013 was a year of hell, it was a year of bullshit, but it was all worth it in the end.

But then, my 8 years of disappointment has prepared me for this.

Radio Heatwave aside (I’m kinda upset).


Regrets.

We all have that right?

I have many.

Maybe even the word ‘many’ is understatement.

In 2013, me and my GF had a big fight, DPA was rejected, results were bad, and my body was collapsing.

The thing is, in 2013, I had no emotions.

No joy, sadness, dispair, anger, pain.

None.

In 2014, I swore to change. I swore that 2014 will be something new to me.

So far? My GF and I had more fights.

I was an asshole, but hey, it took me three years to change.

If i was an alcoholic, then Ngee Ann is my rehabilitation centre and T108 is my group of friends at the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

I’m starting to lose sight of anything. I’m lost. Where am I going ? Where am I heading?

Thank you, my new friends for accepting me. For freeing me from my dark past. For helping me in my rehabilitation.

I still remember my FBC (Freshmen Bonding Camp) , where they told ask me why I didn’t let loose. They think its a cultural shock. So far, only Jaycee knows the real reason.

I need to see a councillor soon.

How ironic, I’m going to write a paper about social stigma against people who have mental illness and I’m going to visit IMH (Institute of Mental Health), where i will be gong on a periodic basis once I hit 18.

– Timothy

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