I realized a couple of things these few days.
I think it’s an excuse, but ironically it motivates me.
Evil motivation to achieve good, a bit of an irony you think?
No, I’m not going to rant about $600 bullshit and stuff like that, cause I have been compensated.
I want to work towards it, for the recognition, not the money.
I want someone, a stranger, to tell me :” Timothy Yip, you have done well and here’s a award recognizing your hard work”
To me, being No.1 and done my best means that when people look at a certain field and they say “Timothy is the Worlds/Singapore/East Spring’s No.1 DJ/DJ/Student (respectively)
To me, even if I foam in the mouth, sleeping knee deep in my own waste and wearing clothes that are from the last century and I’m still not the No.1 , I haven’t done my best.
Not even close.
If I have to die, to top Singapore O levels, I will.
Because my life now revolves around it.
It revolves around Elitism
It revolves around my desire to be the best and the best not to myself, but the best in others.
I don’t care. If I’m sent to a drug rehabilitation center for Ritalin Abuse and I get results – WHY NOT?
If I have to have a heart problem in exchange for a 4 point O levels – WHY NOT?
I’m going to see my doctor soon, and I will be increasing my Ritalin dosage by 1.5 times.
I will go crazy. But time to shut up and do work.
I want to be the bet in Level.
And I will be
AT ANY COST.