Another random rant.
I love my life
School not taking it toll on me, I just living it out. My dad “doesn’t want” me to enjoy life, so actually I going against him, without me knowing it.
Well I have to study right?
Who loves to study? You tell me. Who loves to do homework. Who in his right mind will say this during the December holidays,” oh let me go and do more revision after the 12 days 12 hour revision marathon.”
Nerds, idiots and crazy hardcore studying people do that.
Hey, you only have one life.
And its short, shockingly and horribly short.
Have you ever seen those people who says this:” I spent my childhood studying and I regret it”
Those are the people who have no purpose in life, people who rather study and study and study and study and study and study and study and study than to have a fulfilling life
Yes, you may have a PhD in 18 Different fields, but the punch line is
“Who gives a damn?”
Sorry for that line, but it’s true! People will rather pay attention to celebrities then to scientist who has PhD in 18 Different fields
I wanna learn how to DJ, I can’t. Fine
I wanna play computer, I can’t. Fine
I wanna have a free holiday, I can’t. Fine
There, to summarise my life in one sentence will be this.
“I have a great life, but with a increasing threat from school and family; it is driving my freedom to extinction; planning to leave a big hell in my innocent childhood.”
I don’t know what I just wrote.
And I spend nearly half a day studying/going to school(except weekend) and maybe 3/4 day studying near exams.
If only I had 30 hours everyday.
Well, got to study,then study.
I want to live life, therefore I made a date with myself (I’m not forever alone) to go crazy and start rage-quitting and spoiling everything. I recommend it to anyone for a method of distressing .
Well it works for me.
I’m looking forward to that day, where I go out and sit by the beach, walking down memory lane and laughing/crying/scolding by myself like a crazy person
Well, got to work hard for SA.
My dad stalks this blog, all the time.i should not use the word “stalk” , least he scold and shoot down this post.
I’m always being stalked. Anywhere, anytime,anyhow.
Well, I want to host a private blog, where are my REAL thoughts exist. Kept from public, my dad and any other stalkers. A island only where I know and not governed/threaten by my stalkers (not my dad).
Which means its privately hosted, and only my eye can see.
It will be violent and hardcore. But it’s private, which means that neither google/yahoo/bing can’t find it. Only WordPress CEO/admin and me can see it.
Maybe even the WordPress team can’t see it.
Maybe not. I should buy a journal. A journal with a lock. And write all the genuine thoughts.
Yea that’s good.
I always wanted something.
Yes time. I not like a person that has to rush here and there.
But I want time.
I want my dad to say this “go and learn to achieve dreams” rather then saying “curse your dreams, go mug as hard as you can”
Nope he did not say this, but rather indirectly. But I think that’s too harsh.
I look at articles saying the China way of teaching students:
Get a question wrong: get canned
98/100 and below is considered a failure
NO SLEEP/FOOD unless you complete your work with full marks and precision
The cane will whine at least 40 times everyday.
“Just Cane” is always in implement
The article says on how this parents son , with all that cane marks, managed to get into a top Beijing university, at a major cost of the child’s joy.
I wanted to kill that beast. He was smiling all the way, boasting: “I cane my child with a whip 40 times a day, and he got into university”
Can you imagine, he was crying everyday, maybe crying his way into sleep.
Another book, which I want to read, is called “Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother” where this Mother tortured her daughter into achieving perfection.
Well. Burning a child soft toys(child’s life) just because he/she did not perfect a piano piece is just insane, inhuman,crazy and shameful.
I have decided.
I got to learn how to torture myself. FORCE myself.
Darn motivation, I ran out of that crap already.
Instead of goals, I shall use the knife instead.
My mom says I have no motivation, true. Next option, the cane.
Let’s bring back the cane shall we?
Looks like its the only way, I really can’t find any other solution. I have -82930272 moral, -9292838391928 Motivation and -382919272 perseverance. So the cane will be the motivator, my parents nagging as the moral and good grades as perseverance.
I have always this emergency plan in my head, I call it the “day 0 plan” basically it prepares me for the day where I’m declared ‘bankrupt’ and everything that I own is taken away.
As of now, it’s not in implementation.
Love you guys, but I really don’t know when my next post will come.
Probably not in the near future.
Last Seen: 24 March 2012 10:06:000 PM (+8 GMT)