Life as a 15 years old

No, I’m not 15 years old, yet. My life as a secondary 3 student in one of the world’s most retarded education system has most of its cons being taken on my life. Education in Singapore has become so darn competitive. Why? For one piece of paper. That’s what we are fighting for. Every year, there will be parents fighting for places in the best schools and other stuff. But for what? For a piece of paper? Why do our lives have to be determined by a piece of paper? We just have to accept the fact.

Childhood is the ONE and ONLY time in our lives where we get to enjoy life. Not even retirement come close. I feel very happy embracing the fact that I’m growing up, but the memories come back to me and tell me the sad reality that my best moments in life are coming to a end. Death and Taxes will eventually come to hunt me. Retirement, you might say, will be our golden years. Do we have the same energy as our childhood, do we have the same ability to run around like retards and still have fun when we are old? No. We have money and time, but no energy. That’s why life is kinda suck-ish.

My parents are nagging at me. Study blah blah blah. Threatening to revoke my privileges, and putting me in a prolonged torture of study and study without a proper social life. I’m alright with it. It just that my life needs the internet for work. I have a patrol to take care, programs to plan, and the Internet helps me to do it. I’m used to using a cheap-ass Nokia phone. Maybe in the future, for me, using a COLOURED Nokia will be a privilege.

Currently, I have quite a few delications I have to attend to, including scouts friends and family. My parents plan is to remove them and replacing it with study. Probably my whole 52 week plan will be this:
6am wake up
7:30 am go school
1:55pm end school
2:30 reach home
2:31 – 10:00 pm : study (No TV, No friends , no Internet , no social life)
10:05 last stuff+ sleep
OK, I admit, I might have exaggerated a little bit over there. My parents are very flexible, I will admit. Maybe it’s me (probably). They keep saying, you don’t work hard enough after your PSLE. In my mind, I’m thinking ” I tried my best, but I get nothing, so what’s the point?” I’m trying my best.

People always say

look at the positive side. You can look at a cup, whether is it half full or half empty

Parents probably look at us, half empty. You know the time during holidays, when they go to work they say:” Don’t play all day!”
After they left, you start to put down your games, start revising, finish your homework, do the house hold chores, AND when you just sit down and get started at the end of the day; your parents come in and see you playing, they will be like:” YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR PLAYING THE WHOLE DAY!

Thats life and parents. They see us playing, but never see us studying.

I have to work hard, but my mindset is this:” If I can’t secure a prize, why bother caring?” I work as hard as I could, but there always be people ahead of me, fighting with me, because of the education system here in Singapore system. Don’t give up, they always say. I have been fighting a war for nearly 9 years , always losing my major battles. Maybe I don’t work hard enough. But I am tired of working hard. I have ran out of motivations.

Time is against me. I going to be a adult pretty soon, and it will mean I will have to give up on my hobbies and dreams so as to keep my ass alive in this crazy ,full of competition world. I am scared to lose the ability to desire and dream. And my life is already losing its ability. I have a DJ hobby that’s is just starting out, but not for long will it last, because of studies.

My mindset is this. They give out awards with a cash prize. And the fact of the matter is when I was young (probably my parents lied to me, it was a white lie, probably to motivate me) that I had gotten a edusave award for 4 years, but wasn’t eligible to receive the cash because I was “too darn rich” I was really angered, and I was pretty sad to said. What’s does this show to me?( no I’m not money faced). My hard work gets nothing. If I have a right to get a cash prize, I will stop at nothing to get it, but for 4 years, in the silences, I had a achievement, but was probably not given a darn about.

My plan is to work really hard, get a cash prize and then prove to myself that the education system, parents that I an working hard. Then I will break off from the world and become the next Steve Jobs.

That is probably a white dream.

But who knows? Maybe I will become another Steve jobs?

I will work hard and get the award, it’s a vow that I will make. To make myself,my parents + my teacher happier

But seriously, I will KILL the person who hands those awards out , if I get the award but without the $600 attached to it.


2 Replies to “Life as a 15 years old”

  1. I like your posting. Very well written and expressed.

    I also sympathise with how you feel. Homework and preparing for exams are very tedious tasks that very few people relish. They are necessary for your growth. What we have done is to give you flexibility in arranging your homework and even tuition schedule. You must plan your schedule well so that there is enough time to get your homework done properly, play, shower, eat and rest. Everybody only has 24 hours. If too much time is spent on play, you will not have enough time to do serious work and the inevitable result is to rush through the homework and learn little or nothing from the exercise. That defeats the purpose of homework which is a chance for you to test your own understanding of what the teacher taught.

    As a young adult or teenager,we also understand you want a say in your life – which your paraents totally agree and hence we have been flexible in many things, as you have noted in your blog. You get to decide when you do our homework, when you have your tuition, your TV and iphone time, and which school activity you attend. They let you make many of these decisions in your life, which you should as young adult or teenager. There are some important decisions which you can’t make on your own because you are too inexperienced to understand the consequences, some of which are very serious and can change your life forever. If you, for instance, quit school and pursue your DJ hobby, you will not be able to get back to school or pursue even a diploma, let alone a degree, when you want to in future because these qualifications are per-requisites for further study. This is a decision that changes your life.

    Does this mean you can no longer pursue your hobby? Of course not. Just because you can’t get th DJ now doesn’t mean you can’t in future. There is a time for everything. Right now, what is important is to get a good education. If you follow the path, you will complete your education at the age of 24 or 25. That’s not late at all to pick up DJ course. Not at all. Unlike piano playing or ballet dancing which are best started at a young age when fingers and feet are flexible, deejaying does not require any of these. So, Be patient.

    Home is not a prison. sorry if you feel that way. Hopefully they can talk about these things more often, because I think they will know how you will feel and will probably find a good compromise.

    Once again, good posting!

  2. Tim,

    Very very good writing!!!

    Please keep up the good writing & u’ll be one of the top. It’s all abt life cycle. One day, u’ll be parents of ur own children. By then, u will only understand what ur parents r going through.

    Nevertheless, bear w it n talk to ur parents openly. Cheers!

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